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 Tired of wandering in darkness? In need of a shining light? A Voice from the Heavens calls out to Glenn Beck: God speaks to Glenn, in ways too Mysterious for mere mortals to comprehend.
“‘Atta boy, Glenn, you tell them how it is. Together, you and I, we are going to restore honor to the U.S. of A. And be absolutely clear about this, Mr. Beck: when you say God, make sure that the people know we are talking about the one and only, the Christian God, as there is surely no other way to get our country back on proper footing and prosperity.”
I found it to be a rather amazing spectacle to listen to Glenn Beck call forth his flock of white, conservative, and very fundamentalist Christians to help our destitute country turn back to God. These poor souls have “wandered in darkness”, he proclaimed, and “something that is beyond man is happening.” Just how Glenn knows this is not revealed, but could it be that he has a direct line to the Almighty?
Of course, we already know the answer to such a mundane question, for the Godly Glenn had previously informed us that it was only due to divine intervention that the day for the God and Honor Rally coincided with the anniversary of the March on Washington and the “I Have A Dream” speech by Martin Luther King.
Holy cow, our country must surely be in deep doo-doo, for why else would God be choosing to get involved right now? And folks, let there be no mistake, our God has chosen to work through Glenn. Knowing the sincerity of our devout Mr. Beck, we assuredly understand that this must be true, or else he wouldn’t say so.
I watched a short video clip of Glenn’s sermon, and I’ll be darned if he didn’t sound just like a preacher-man, a man who knows exactly what God wants us to do, a man who lets us know who he has on his side: the Christian God Almighty, and you’d better believe it, or risk the wrath of His mighty sword. And verily, his disciples also know this to be the truth, So Help Them God.
But lo and behold, it is only fitting that these present and past dates of gathering were miraculously star-crossed, for we have been informed that these Onward Christian followers are now actually at the vanguard of the civil rights movement. A very strange spectacle, indeed: a lily-white demonstration laying claim to the mantel of the civil rights movement, while the only right they desire is to impose their version of God onto the entire nation.
Pious Christians arise and unite, and together we will restore Honor to the United States, with Glenn-God leading the way. I can hardly wait for the next Divine Intervention. Stay tuned to Fox News.
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You are wrong about paying 50% more for gold from Goldline rather than buying it somewhere else. The average price is actually an average of 90% higher; even more of an obscene rip-off.
A few excerpts from a House of Representative report:
"Goldline International has been in business since 1960, but has gained national prominence recently by sponsoring conservative talk show hosts.
These paid spokespeople have happily agreed to promote Goldline by playing off the fear
of inflation, to encourage people to purchase gold as an investment that will protect them from an out of control government.
In reality Goldline is a company that uses conservative rhetoric, high pressure sales
tactics and tall tales about the future of gold to sell over priced coins that can be bought somewhere else for cheaper.
On numerous occasions, Glenn Beck has dedicated entire segments of his program to
explaining why the U.S. money supply is destined for hyperinflation with Barack
Obama as president. He will often promote the purchase of gold as the only safe
investment alternative for consumers who want to safeguard their livelihoods. When
the show then cuts to commercial break, viewers are treated to an advertisement from
Goldline.
By selling gold at twice the melt value, the price of gold would need to double for
consumers to break even on their “investment.”
Fred Thompson, Dennis Miller, Mark Levin, Laura Ingraham, Lars Larson, Michael
Smerconish, Monica Crowley and Mike Huckabee are all paid spokespeople for
Goldline."
“We could be facing recession, depression or collapse. Nothing Left! … I like to call
it the three G system here for this, its God, Gold and Guns.” (Source: The Glenn Beck
Show 11/23/2009)
Enough said; I've got to rush out and cash in all of my savings so I can join Beck's Gold Rush. Stay tuned to Fox News for more malarkey.